Remember I Love You
by saltishima
Summary: Yamaguchi is fading fast, and all he wants is to hear Tsukki's voice one final time. (Oneshot)


**_Hey frens~ This is gonna be a sad one, so strap in._** ** _You can take this however you want, but I assure you, you'll need a tissue._** ** _Please read and enjoy~_** ** _Warnings: One use of language, mentions of suicide, death_**.

 **Part** **One- The Driver**

 _1st person_

 ** _Present Tense_**

The boy rushes towards me before I can stop the car.

A flash of colour zooms owards me at full-speed, not even giving me time to think.

Everything happens at once. The sound of tyres skidding on the tarmac and the smell of burning rubber overwhelms my senses. I desperately attempt for turn the wheel, towards a fence, a bush, anywhere but the boy, but I fail.

The last few seconds before impact unfold in slow motion.

I will never be able to forget the image I see when the boy slowly swivels round to face me.

There is a mixture of shock, disbelief and absoloute terror in his expression that will stay with me for as long as I live.

In the millisecond before I crash into the boy, he makes eye contact with me, the man that will ruin his life, and I think my heart might break.

Cowardly, I scrunch my eyes tight as my car rams into my poor victim. There is no way I wish to lay eyes on the effects of my idiocy.

I desperately push the breaks, covering my ears with the palms of my hand, and forcing my eyes to stay shut.

The car comes to a halt with a high pitched screech. The force of the air bag leaves a painful burn on my face, and very nearly suffocates me, but, luckily, my nose stays intact.

Immediately, I undo my seatbelt, and shove my car door open. Fortunately, I'm stopped in the middle of the road, down a quiet suburban street, and there is no traffic, and plenty of room for me to get out the car and check the casualty.

Lying, sprawled out in the centre of the road is a tall, teenage boy.

Trickling down his face is a torrent of rose-red blood, forming a small poor beside him.

I crouch down by him, and gently stroke his cheek, just to check if he's conscious.

Much to my relief, his eyes flutter open and he groans slightly.

"Tsukki..." He mumbles, trying to sit up, before screaming quietly and falling back to the concrete, hitting his head once again.

His legs are twisted in an unbelievable position, and I find it very unlikely he will be able to sit up anytime soon. I'm just greatful he's alive.

"Tsukki..." He repeats, lifting his head up to look at me.

I take off my puffer coat and gently place it under his head.

"Who's Tsukki?" I ask, casually trying to assess his injuries, without him noticing.

"Tsukki is my..." He pauses, as if he'd forgotten who Tsukki was.

"Do you remember?" I prompt. I pray to god he hasn't developed amnesia.

"He's my best friend," He finishes, after a far too lengthy consideration.

"Oh, okay. I need to call an ambulance, wait here," I tell him, gesturing with my hands for him to stay put. I realize later that he wouldn't have been able to go anywhere anyway.

I get to my car, where I left my phone, only to find it completely shattered and refusing to switch on.

I curse under my breath, and decide to walk up the road a little bit for a possible phone donor, but there is not a soul in sight, except for me and the boy.

I walk back to check on him, and he's lain there in what seems like immense pain, with tears silently rolling down his grazed cheeks.

"Sir!" He calls. I run over straight away.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"My phone," He moans, pointing weakily at the floor a metre out of his reach.

"Yes!" I shout gleefully, earning a confused look from the boy. "Can I borrow your phone?"

"Um..." He thinks about it for a second. "No."

"But..." I gasp. "I-if... if we don't phone an ambulance, you might..."

"Die?" He ends sadly. Slowly, he lifts is shirt, to show a piece of glass puncturing his stomach, seeping crimson blood.

I burst into tears.

"Wait! Don't cry!" Exclaimed the kid. "Just... do one thing for me..."

"No!" I protest once again, grabbing his phone, which has nothing but a slide lock protecting it's contents. "You'll die, you said so yourself!"

He sighs sadly, olive eyes wide with tears.

"I'm going to bleed out anyway, before the ambulance gets here so... Please, sir..." He begs. "Let me have my mobile."

Reluctantly, I hand him his phone, and go back to sit in the wreck of a car that, today, will kill a young boy. Tears streaming down my face in buckets, I watch him dial in the number, a big smile on his face when the boy on the other side answers.

 **Part Two- The Call**

 ** _3rd Person_**

 _Past Tense_

Tsukishima's number was at the top of Yamaguchi's contact list, in the favourites section, along with Yamaguchi's mother. After all, they were Yamaguchi's favourite people in the world.

Silently, Yamaguchi prayed that Tsukishima would pick up. Everything was resting on this phone call.

Where would Tsukisima be right now? Perhaps he would be at home, listening to his edgy british indie music, with Akiteru nagging him to listen to 'proper music'.

Maybe he'd be practising with the team, acing blocks as always, jabbing snide remarks at Kageyama, who, although, just as talented as Tsukki, was so much more motivated.

The most likely option, Yamaguchi thought, was that Tsukishima would be sat, alone, on a bench in some random park, reading a book, his beloved headphones blocking out the rest of the world.

Yamaguchi pictured the scene nostalgically, knowing one true fact. He'd never be able to see that scene again.

The few seconds as his phone beeped were the longest seconds of Yamaguchi's life. With every fading heartbeat, his stomach dropped an inched.

What if he didn't pick up? The urge to hear his best friend's voice was larger than the urge to live itself for Yamaguchi at that moment.

The phone stopped beeping, and for a split second, Yamaguchi stopped breathing. That's it, he thought. I'll never be able to speak to him again. All the words left unsaid between them, left unsaid forever.

"Yamaguchi," Tsukishima's voice was the sweetest sound Yamaguchi had ever heard. "What do you want?" He demanded.

Yamaguchi's grin was as wide as the world. That's the Tsukki he knew and loved. He didn't mean to sound mean. He just didn't know how to express himself in any other way. Saying things as simple as a greeting could sound offputting when Tsukki said them.

"I-I just wanted to talk," Yamaguchi stuttered. Luckily, he didn't sound too weak at that point, creating the facade that Yamaguchi was safe and well.

" _About_?" Tsukishima asked. Yamaguchi could practically feel the exasperated raise of Tsukki's eyebrows.

"Um, nothing in particular..." Yamaguchi answered. What are you meant to say in this situation? So many things to talk about, so many memories to remember, yet so little time remaining.

"Well, great chat, but I'm busy, so by-"

"No!" Yamaguchi shouted, jarring the shard in his side. Until then, the pain had been severe, but bearable. His head was slightly foggy from the initial imapct, so perhaps it was altering his pain threshold. Nevertheless, it hurt, but he couldn't let Tsukki know. "How's your recieve coming along?"

"Is that really all you wanted?" Tsukishima asked, obviously bothered by something Yamaguchi couldn't see.

"Um, what are you doing?" Yamaguchi asked tentatively. Somewhere distantly in the background, Yamaguchi could hear the turning of pages, so he deduced Tsukishima was reading, although it could've been the man that hit him, who was in his car, silently sobbing.

"I, um, am reading," Tsukki answered, preoccupied. "Honestly, Yamaguchi, why do you care?"

"W-what book?" A wave of pain gushed over Yamaguchi, almost drowning him, but the sound of Tsukki pulled him to the surface.

"None of your business?" For some reason, what would normally be said as a snappy statement, was asked as a question.

"Is it a ro~mance?" Yamaguchi giggled. His best friend's love for cheesy romances was far from hidden.

Tsukishima didn't answer, but huffed, indicating it was definitely a romance; a cheesy one at that.

"What is it about?" Yamaguchi asked. It was no secret Tsukki was smart, but no-one really thought of him as the bookish type. But the extensive collection of novels in the blonde teens' room suggested otherwise. No-one but Yamaguchi was yet to discover this fact, but Tsukishima could talk for hours about books, and it was a successful way of distracting him for long periods of time.

"This British woman who loses her job, and has to look after this quadraplegic ma-"

"What's quadraplegic?" Yamaguchi asked.

"The total paralysis of all four limbs and torso. How did you not know it? It's _in_ the name," Tsukki sighed. The two boys were in the same class, top of the grade, but to both of them, it always felt like Tsukishima was smarter. Tsukishima would probably end up going to a top university in the city. Without Yamaguchi.

"Well, I understand now," Yamaguchi tried not chuckle. Something about talking about quadraplegia and not being able to move himself was quite hilarious. "So, she has to look after a quadraplegic man? He prompted.

"Correct. But he wants to commit suicide, at Dignitas," Tsukishima continues, clearly trying to read at the same time.

"Dignitas? That's the assisted suicide place in Europe, right?" Yamaguchi questioned. He remembered seeing something on the news about the controversial centre. He also remembered wondering how their families could let them do that. Don't they love them?

"Yes," Tsukishima replied. He paused for a second. "Let me guess, you are wondering how someone could let their loved one die?"

Yamaguchi gasped, then giggled, hurting his stomach, gasping again, this time in pain. It was like Tsukki had read his mind. They knew each other so well, though, it wouldn't be a surprise. Their close relationship could well have turned into a telepathic one.

"Yes..." Yamaguchi whimpered.

"Of course," Tsukishima's thoughts were confirmed. "You are too nice."

If most people had said that, it would've been a compliment. Then again, Tsukishima Kei wasn't most people, and he said 'nice' as a terrible insult.

"How would you feel if you had to see me in intense, constant phsical and emotional pain, Yamaguchi?" Tsukishima asked, shocking his best friend.

"W-what?" Yamaguchi stuttered. Little did Tsukki know, his own best friend was in immense physical and emotional pain.

"You heard me."

"Well, I'd hate to see you in any type of pain, Tsukki," Yamaguchi answered, surely.

"Hm. Then would you want to see me at peace?" Tsukishima asked, backing Yamaguchi into a corner.

"Yea- wait! You mean, see you die?!" Yamaguchi exclaimed. Just the thought triggered the extreme agony that coursed through his body. The next thought the teenager had, squeezed a tear from Yamaguchi's eye. He wouldn't have to see Tsukki die, but Tsukki would have to see him die.

"But then I wouldn't be in pain anymore. I wouldn't have to suffer," Tsukki reminded him.

"I-I... I couldn't live without you!"

"That's very selfish," Tsukishima remarked bluntly.

"B-but, would you want to see me die?!" Yamaguchi asked, weeping. Maybe this wasn't the best topic for the occasion.

"Obviously not. But I wouldn't want to see you suffer, either," Tsukishima whispered reluctantly.

Yamaguchi choked on his own saliva. The blood was rushing onto the pavement now. He couldn't block the image out of his head. Tsukki in the front row of the chapel, a single tear falling down his face. He'd never been one for emotion, but the sight of his best friend's coffin would break him. Tsukki would walk up to his casket and lay a white lily on it, softly, desperately trying to hold in tears. And the sad truth is, that would happen, in a few weeks. Tsukki would have to go to his best friend's funeral.

"Th-the book? What happened to the man?" Yamaguchi attempted to change the subject.

"That would be a spoiler," Tsukishima said. "You'll have to read it yourself."

"Oh, come on, I'll never read it," Yamaguchi sighed. He would never read a book again.

"I'm not going to tell you, Yamaguchi," Tsukishima assured him.

Out of nowhere, the driver approached Yamaguchi.

"Are you okay? Can I use your phone no-" The driver was left speechless by the sight before him. The boy he had ran over, just minutes before, was deteriorating speedily. His t-shirt was soaked crimson, and he could practically drown in the increasingly large puddle below him. The driver could tell his breathing was laboured. He looked so in pain, but not from the injury. From the fear of leaving the world.The drover estimated the boy only had minutes left. Less.

"Are you saying goodbye to him? You need to-" The driver pleaded desperately.

"Please, let me do this myself," Yamaguchi asked. One last request to his murderer. The driver, nodded. In all the years he'd be locked up in prison, he'd know he deserved it. And when he's finally released, he would hang himself the next day, never forgetting the little boy who's future was snatched from him.

"Yamaguchi? Who was that?" Questioned Tsukki. It was very rare that they were apart, let alone with other people.

"No-one, no-one," Yamaguchi croaked. Now Yamaguchi could feel the end was near. He had to say something, anything. He had to tell Tsukki everything. This conversation would not make up for all the birthdays Tsukki would vist Yamaguchi's grave. This conversation would not make up for sleepless nights, dreaming about what could've been. This conversation would not make up for the fact that Tsukishima Kei would never love again. But it was something. One small something Tsukki would onto for the rest of his life.

"What the hell are you on abou-"

"Tsukki, listen to me, please," Yamaguchi begged. "I love you, I love you, you are mt best friend and I just want you to live on. Live everyday like it's your last. Go on great adventures! Travel the world! Do whatever you want, when you want. Please, find a lovely wife, and have the kids I'll never meet, and care for them, care for them all. Love them, like I loved you!"

Yamaguchi spluttered, sobbing his heart out.

"Never give up! Take care of yourself, but don't forget to take risks. And most importantly-" Yamaguchi screamed in pain. "Remember I love you!"

Yamaguchi Tadashi hung up on his best friend, and passed away to the sound of his own tears.

 **Part 3- Realization**

 _1st Person_

 ** _Present Tense_**

"Remember I love you!"

The words echo in my head. Something's not right.

 _I was quite comfortable, sitting on my bench, reading._

 _The book was good. I heard there was a film as well, Akiteru would probably watch it with me._

 _But as always, Yamaguchi had to ruin it._ _He's been ruining my life ever since he walked into it all those years ago._

 _The whole conversation was slightly strange, and it almost sounded like he was struggling to breath, but I dismissed it. I wish I hadn't._

 _When I heard the man's voice, I knew something was up. I did. But I tossed it aside as jealously. Just because Yamaguchi was hanging out with someone else, it didn't mean something was wrong._

 _But it did._

 _Yamaguchi_ _was crying, telling me he loved me and I didn't know how to react. I should've._

He hangs up, and bile rises in my throat.

I redial his number, but it merely goes to voicemail.

"Hey, you've reached Yamaguchi. I'm probably with Tsukki, so you could call him or just leave a message," His cheery voice rings out across the park.

A dog walker across for me glances over and shakes her head disapprovingly.

He always picks up when I call him.

Quickly, I gather my belongings, and rush home.

It's just my instinct to go to a familiar setting. Maybe Yamaguchi will be there. He always seems to be round my house, so much so that him and Akiteru are like brothers.

I unlock the front door, nearly dropping my keys. Why am I shaking? It's not like me to feel so flustered.

I hear the television in the sitting room, left on, although no-one is home, apart from me.

I catch a glance at it, only meaning to glimpse at it, before going to my room to call Yamaguchi again.

"BREAKING NEWS: BOY DIES IN DEVASTATING CRASH"

The words flash across the screen, and I go dizzy.

Surely not. Yamaguchi doesn't deserve to die, so it won't be him.

The crash is recent enough for them to not have covered the body yet, and immediately, I recognize the pattern of the delicate freckles.

I stare, shocked, at the screen tears silently streaming, pattering like raindrops on the floor.

I am only snapped out of my trance by the clattering of my phone to the floor.

 _No..._

I vomit, staining the tiles with the contents of my stomach, until there is nothing left to bring up by vile, burning my throat.

I wasn't prepared to see those freckles I know so well, blood stained.

 _No..._

 _This can't be happening_.

 _This can't_.

I punch my arm, wailing.

 _This is not, not, not happening!_

 _I refuse to believe it!_

I collapse onto the floor, into my vomit and laugh for what feels like hours.

Of course this isn't happening, it's jist a sick joke. A prank by Tanaka and Nishinoya.

At some point, my mum bursts through the unlocked door, sobbing.

"He knows, Akiteru. He knows!"

She tries to cradle me in her arms like she did wjen I was young and didn't know what a shitty world it was, but I elbow her away.

It dawns on me that what I saw was the truth, and I scream and scream and scream.

Someone in the back of my mind nags at me to be composed, but I can't listen to them, as much as I want.

I'm out of control.

My head is pounding, but nothing can distract from the pain.

My pain is nothing to what he must've felt though.

As I fall asleep, I remember the last words Yamaguchi Tadashi, my best friend, ever said...

"Remember I love you!"

 ** _Thank you for reading!_**

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